Riggers of Remodeling

It is a process. It is an adventure, a headache, a learning experience.

My beau, Marlin, and I have been starting our "remodel". We aren't knocking down walls (thankfully) but we are taking out carpet, putting in hardwood flooring, painting, curtains, building a shed and back deck, laying down paverstone paths and putting in landscaping. Granted, not all at one time but we are starting with the painting and curtains.

Our theme: Country cottage

We both like the rustic and cozy feel and agree to most of the ideas but once in application, frustration sets in:
Marlin has to draw everything out right now and get the measurements of everything and pricing on the entire project and tools! for every thing to prepare for the upcoming projects. He says we have to do all this to submit for approval from the HOA which could take up to 6 months or so. He is the details and planning on the numbers side; pricing the lumber, determining the type of brace we need, buying the nail pressure gun, calculating the cubic inches, looking at blue prints of decks, buying software to virtually design it, and staking out the yard (even though we aren't building it for a year).
I am not as left brained. I like drawing out the plans for the landscaping and deck and yes, I want it all now too but I want to work on one project at a time. We both know we are working on a budget so I have a hard time seeing why we have to buy tools now we won't need for months. I understand we have to draw plans for approval for the HOA but do we need pricing for next years project when it is very likely the prices will have changed in a years time. He is so focused. I get overwhelmed with the entire project so I am trying to pace ourselves so we are only looking at what we need now for just painting; then we can look at buying another mantel or getting estimates on flooring, or buying pressure nail guns in two different sizes... etc.
Hence we get frustrated with how the other one works.
{sigh}
But I absolutely love him and am so glad that he can do all this stuff and I am so very happy that he will be working with (and learning from) my Poppa. Hopefully, this will bring them closer and Marlin will enjoying spending as much time them as he does with his family.

the space in between (chapter 2)

So if you have no one else, you should have your family. ... but sometimes those who have your back, may not even be related to you.

I had just been beaten up, and packed as much as I could into my truck, called a former roommate that had lived in the house with us, who had moved north of Austin, had driven back to San Antonio to help me load as much as he could into his car and follow me 2.5 hours north to my grandparents. I had called mom and my grandparents to let them know what was going on and ask my grandparents if I could stay at their house while they were out of town. Granny said "yes" and Poppa was concerned about having the electricity and water turned back on for me (since they had been out of the house for the summer, the utilities had been turned off ). This is when things started going haywire. From what I remember, Mom had talked to Trisa (her sister, my aunt) and she, Trisa, was suggesting I call Travis (thier brother, my uncle), of which I couldn't get a hold of. I couldn't get a hold of Trisa either so I am basicly on the phone with Mom the whole 2 hours bawling my eyes out at what I was going to do now since I couldn't get a hold of Travis and Trisa wouldn't come to Lampasas and oh boo whoo ... I was DISTRAUT!
Between talking to Mom and Granny & Poppa, it felt like I was getting further from San Antonio but not closer to a home or place to stay.
(I have only cried harder than that on one occassion and that was from a betrayed heart.)
As we pulled up to my grandparents and started to unload boxes into their workshed, Travis happened to drive by. He began asking questions as to why I was there and seemed very suspicious about the whole thing. From what Poppa had said earlier, Travis was supposed to give me the key and turn the utilities back on; but Travis said he hadn't talked to anybody. Due to his lack of interest in seemingly wanting to help out or being concerned at all, I just said I would stay in a hotel. --Needless to say, I stayed in a hotel that night and out of everyone's way.
(Please note that I am relaying my present state of mind in it's delicate condition at that time and am not intending to slander anyone).

So I spent the week staying in a hotel and looking on line for a job. The following weekend would change my life forever....

....stay tuned!

the space in between (chapter 1)

I know it has been a LONG LONG time since my last blog.... and SO VERY MUCH has happened. (hopefully in my long absence, I did not lose my one loyal reader hahahaha)



The update:

Well, Let's see. I was in San Antonio and Heather was visiting. It was a very nice visit. The wine probe was fun and I must admit that I had to pace myself and start alternating water after a glass or two. We also went to a dude ranch and had a blast and Heather even stood on a horse!!! ( I promise I will post the pictures soon). We went to the lake and went camping with some other friends of hers and it was nice to get a little sun on my translucent legs. Soon it was time to head back to Korea.

Some weeks later, Kevin and my living situation came to an unfortunate end. What started as a disagreement about living space soon turned into a physical altercation. We had been discussing his leaving trash on the kitchen for days and how it is our common area and we rent to live in this space etc.... suddenly he is up out of his chair, charging towards me, hand up and screaming within inches from my face. I had already started arching backwards to keep a distance but my instincts soon took over and I felt I needed to defend myself. I slapped him and told him to step back. This of course sparked the flame and he lunged towards me and from what I remember, we were grappling and wrestling around the kitchen. He was trying to punch me screaming "Not in his house" and I was trying to slam him into the cabinets to get him off me. It ended by him having me pinned down in the living room with my face pressed up against the stairs and him punching me in the back of the head. Needless to say, I called the police and left that night.

The ordeal was very traumatic for me but what possibly hurt worse was that I felt like the people that are most supposed to be there for you (family) weren't.

.........................to be continued...

a vaca w/ Heather

Heather arrived in town yesterday.

We went grocery shopping and took it easy yesterday.

Today we spent the day downtown at the Riverwalk. We went to Ripley's Believe it or Not! and the Wax Museum. Ripley's was neat but the Wax Museum was disappointing. But the Riverwalk is still a lovey stroll and very nice.

Tomorrow is a wine probe through Fredericksburg and Stonewall. We are both looking really really forward to it.

(pictures will be posted soon.)

Stay tuned....

Feliz Cinco de Mayo

The Ciaos that is [currently] My Life

Ball of Confusion (that's what the world is today) [by the Temptations] comes to mind today.

I have a knot in the pit of my stomach that is growing and make me sick.

Stress - the physical pressure, pull, or other force exerted on one thing by another; strain.

Stress is a term that refers to the sum of the physical, mental, and emotional strains or tensions on a person. Feelings of stress in humans result from interactions between persons and their environment that are perceived as straining or exceeding their adaptive capacities and threatening their well-being. The element of perception indicates that human stress responses reflect differences in personality as well as differences in physical strength or health.

[Deep Breath]

My laundry list that effects my current state of mind: (should you care to read on...)

I am on the outs with my Mom with all the stuff happening with my brother, I feel unimportant.

I moved to San Antonio for a new start and a great job and all I think I have gotten is an ulcer.

I have bills and rent and no income and to make matters worse, both roommates are moving out (one of which because of me - he can't deal with a female roommate), so no pressure Jodi but you need to get your butt in gear.

I want a relationship soooo bad!!!!! I looked to the wrong person to have something stable to keep me from feeling dizzy in the midst of my ciaos and now I feel like I have lost my self worth entirely. It's like I see it. I know it was there but I am just watching it drift away and I am helpless to get it back... [sigh]

sigh.

Getting Settled

Well, I am still unpacking and getting settled but my move to San Antonio has been a good one so far. I have met a few of San Antonio's finest entrepreneurs and made some positive contacts.

There is Kevin, the "Landlord".

Then there is Ryan who is our own personal landscaper (another roommate).

And last but not least, the beautiful, talented and charming groovy-gal Tina and her TGTV.

I just want to let all my "peeps" know that are going well and give a shout out to Edward. Let me know when you come to town to visit.
Heather will be here in a few weeks so it will be good to see her again and have another fun adventure.

Okay kids, I must be off to bed and catch a few winks. Kevin is certainly keeping me busy (cracking the whip) by helping do a few computer things... this is good for me - I am learning a lot.

(big yawn) Night Ya'll!