A few things you must know about me as you read this post:
1. I am analytical.
2. I am emotionally sensitive.
3. I am the mother of two absolutely beautiful little girls.
So it is nap time and in my rare few minutes to myself, I am flipping through channels to see if there is anything good on TV. I come to Father of the Bride starring Steve Martin about a man who has a beautiful, brilliant, wonderful and otherwise perfectly pure daughter who has come home to tell them she is in love and is in fact getting married (translated to him as some hoodlum is taking his daughter away to corrupt his precious baby girl). The scene I catch is his daughter just got a ‘gift’ from her soon-to-be in-laws of a brand new shiny red convertible! Her father meanwhile just ran upstairs to get his gift for the happy couple. As he hastens down the stairs with anticipation to show his good gift to his daughter he sees the shiny new car outside as they all jump for joy at the new gift. He, in his humility, runs to hide the gift as his daughter catches up to him in the kitchen only to ask him about this beautifully wrapped box he is poorly hiding behind as basket of fruit. He embarrassingly hands the gift over explaining that it isn’t anything as impressive but she said she didn’t have one and he hoped she might like it. As she opens the wrapping to find a “top of the line” cappuccino machine, she turns and smiles to him and says, “I couldn’t love anything more.” then turns to carry the gift to show what a wonderful gift her Dad had given them as well. His voice over then adds, “My feelings exactly”.
Now I start to tear up. I too couldn’t love anything more. I think about the day when my beautiful, brilliant, wonderful and otherwise perfect daughters will grow up and start their lives. When they start discovering things for themselves, when they start their first job, when they meet their first boy, when they first fall in love, when they get married and have their first child and how much I look forward to it and fear it at the same time.
I am a conundrum. What can I say?