The Ciaos that is [currently] My Life

Ball of Confusion (that's what the world is today) [by the Temptations] comes to mind today.

I have a knot in the pit of my stomach that is growing and make me sick.

Stress - the physical pressure, pull, or other force exerted on one thing by another; strain.

Stress is a term that refers to the sum of the physical, mental, and emotional strains or tensions on a person. Feelings of stress in humans result from interactions between persons and their environment that are perceived as straining or exceeding their adaptive capacities and threatening their well-being. The element of perception indicates that human stress responses reflect differences in personality as well as differences in physical strength or health.

[Deep Breath]

My laundry list that effects my current state of mind: (should you care to read on...)

I am on the outs with my Mom with all the stuff happening with my brother, I feel unimportant.

I moved to San Antonio for a new start and a great job and all I think I have gotten is an ulcer.

I have bills and rent and no income and to make matters worse, both roommates are moving out (one of which because of me - he can't deal with a female roommate), so no pressure Jodi but you need to get your butt in gear.

I want a relationship soooo bad!!!!! I looked to the wrong person to have something stable to keep me from feeling dizzy in the midst of my ciaos and now I feel like I have lost my self worth entirely. It's like I see it. I know it was there but I am just watching it drift away and I am helpless to get it back... [sigh]

sigh.

Getting Settled

Well, I am still unpacking and getting settled but my move to San Antonio has been a good one so far. I have met a few of San Antonio's finest entrepreneurs and made some positive contacts.

There is Kevin, the "Landlord".

Then there is Ryan who is our own personal landscaper (another roommate).

And last but not least, the beautiful, talented and charming groovy-gal Tina and her TGTV.

I just want to let all my "peeps" know that are going well and give a shout out to Edward. Let me know when you come to town to visit.
Heather will be here in a few weeks so it will be good to see her again and have another fun adventure.

Okay kids, I must be off to bed and catch a few winks. Kevin is certainly keeping me busy (cracking the whip) by helping do a few computer things... this is good for me - I am learning a lot.

(big yawn) Night Ya'll!

On the Road Again

Well, Life is certainly about the Journey and I am on the road again.

I am off to San Antonio to find fame and fortune... okay maybe more like peace and quite.

I am leaving the nest again (hahaha - 3rd times a charm, right?!?!)

I had plans to head towards Austin but a friend beckoned me towards his neck of the woods and made a tempting offer I couldn't refuse. So I am packing up and heading out.

Nervous. Anxious. Excited. [sigh]

What is in a name?

For those of you loyal readers, you may have noticed I changed the name of my blog.

It used to Jodi's Praise. When I started blogging, it was to highlight the praise in my life. To pray for those close to me and acknowledges the blessings God has given me. As my blog has developed and I have fallen more in love with it, it has developed into so much more.

Since it has blossomed into a very well rounded entity, I feel it is time to give it a more fitting name. I thought about "Jodi's Rollercoaster" but felt that it was bigger than just a single ride... hence, "Jodi's Amusement Park".

But as a true Monty Python fan, I am now leaning towards "Jodi's Flying Circus".

On the other hand, I do lend myself to Shakespeare quite often (note the title) and I do feel a certain hint of Greek Tragedy in my life at times (though no one has died yet). Although, let's face it, "Jodi's Greek Tragedy" is a bit to ominous and foreboding even for me. Perhaps my literary friends can come up with something much more cleaver...

So I need you ALL to weigh in! Cast your votes and I will sort through them this weekend.
Come 1 April, I will have a fitting title for my beloved blog!

To be Queen for a Day

Ah, Tis good to be Queen!

- [typically, I am inspired to write on an event or an emotion... but for this one, it was the "title" that was my inspiration. I wanted to do a blog on being a Queen but I don't really know how to get this one off the ground.... I know I wanted to say "...it's good to be the Queen" (check) and something with "off with his head!!" (still working that one out). So bear with me on this most screwy blog. (This should be fun?!)] - [P.S. Perhaps this read best with a British accent; ya know, to get the full effect!]

I would like it to be noted that I have given considerable thought to my reign as High Queen and that this is something I most certainly do not take lightly.

I believe first and foremost in justice and truth. I can have a sympathetic heart; however support corporal punishment whole-heartily! So with that said, please summon my brother the Royal Idiot-Pain-in-the-Rear. To him I say, "Off with his head!!!" (check that one off)

As for my Coronation, Let us Eat Cake. (sorry, I had too)

Cheers to all my loyal subjects!

a Small World After All...

A quick update to a Potpourri of Sorts -


Today at work we were having a "Town Hall" Safety briefing and when we were wrapping up, one of the Supervisors was telling us about a co-workers wife that was in the hospital. She had had a seizure...


[ gasp ] !! Seizure !!


Yes, low and behold, the lady whom I had witnessed having a seizure is no less than My Co-Workers Wife.


Shocking! What a small world.

So she is in ICU and being moved today. I don't have all the details but my co-worker, her husband, said she wants to meet me when this is all over. She doesn't remember anything so I am guessing it will be good for her to have someone fill in the gaps.


Let's pray for her. That the Lord covers her with His Healing Hands!



May He be Praised for His small world after all.

It's Monday Morning...

...and it starts!

But first a quick recap....

As I said yesterday, "James is a Monster". Allow me to elaborate for a moment.

He was laying on the couch. His son, Kaysten, was laying on the ottoman next to the couch. Mom came into to living room to ask him to mow the back yard. He got angry; kicked, screamed, threw a fit, cussed, cussed, grabbed a pillow and threw it, cussed some more; well, you get the picture. Meanwhile Kaysten stands up to witness this act of childish behavior.

I chime in only to laughingly note that Kaysten is watching this and taking notes. But before I can even get the first word out, James has turned his anger at me and cussing at me to shut the F* up and so on.... Soon Mom is telling me to keep quite and don't antagonize him. I laugh and say I was merely pointing this out, then turn to enter my bedroom where I mostly reside.

Later that evening, James was changing Kaysten's diaper and from closed door and down the hall, I could hear Kaysten crying and James reprimanding him not to cuss. Mom comes running down the hall to find out what was going on and I open the door to observe. James starts justifying that Kaysten was swearing so [James] spanked [Kaysten]. I ask how that was fair when James throws fits and cusses all the time and in front of Kaysten. That James is setting the example.
No one even acknowledged my presence. I walk back into my room.


Now this morning.

I am awoken by the sounds of James screaming at Mom about something and Mom saying "I am leaving in 15 minutes."

I doze off for long enough to be woken up again by more yelling and Mom saying "15 minutes!"

I lay in bed for a minute before I give up sleep and walk into the kitchen. I try to have a concerning and sympathetic talk with Mom about James but she starts in on me that I am just as bad as he is.
She says I talk to her just as bad and am always criticizing....
(She storms off to her car, all pissed at me.)

.... okay. I give up. Let them all go.

I head to the back room and shortly after I hear her come storming into the house and beat on the bathroom door for James to "hurry up!!" He screams to "Hold on!"

It sounded like she beat the door down and drug him out. He starts screaming "What the H* was wrong with you?!" ...He cussed and yelled some more but I couldn't make it all out because I was trying to hear what Mom was saying as she drug him down the hallway.

Well, they finally slam the front door and are gone! But all the commotion woke Kaysten and scared him to death. He starts crying and I pick him up and hold him.
He is okay now but poor kid. I know no family is perfect but this is ridicules.

I know I am not perfect but I am not bad. [BIG SIGH]

[exasperated] I don't know what is wrong with me or my family. My mom is a smart lady so why is it we can't see what seems so obvious to others. ???? What is the right thing to do???? Just separate myself and let them work out themselves? It seems that there is no place for 'reason' with these people right now.

!!!!!! I feel sick !!!!!!!