How I hate that dog!

Is it normal to hate a dog so much?!?

Where do I start? Do I start with this mornings playful joking that got twisted into a lecture about how I verbally abuse his dog or do I start with the spat that turned into a full blown argument over lettuce, lunch and ignoring a question? Or how about the fact that the goal was to work on the house but it was spent on the couch (granted sick most the week) watching Bear Grylls and Stargate SG1.

Now don't get me wrong - I know my faults and I am the worst procrastinator. All I am saying is don't get mad about someone else doing the same thing you do. Like when I ask for help and get no response because you are reading an important letter but then get mad at me because I didn't respond to your question about lettuce because I was digging the grocery list out of my pocket. This turned into the fight about lunch (since I hadn't eaten all day) and he saying we weren't going to eat till 3pm. (Basically, we were both having our own conversation and not filling in the lines between the two to make them one. - I was saying, "yes, I want a salad for lunch." and he is saying "Do you want a salad with the burgers I am cooking at 3?" Needless to say, we didn't get salad, and left the store hungry and grumpy. )

So this morning everything is fine and joking about the dog till it became a lecture about how I verbally abuse his dog. That right there makes me hate her even more. Then I come home and she is getting into the bread, as if we don't give her enough treats and spoil her all the time. She has stepped on our baby, Marli. She has sat on his 8 yr old nieces head. She sulks, whimpers and whines. She drives me crazy. And mostly because he dotes and pampers her so damn much. What is with that?

I feel very stressed and frustrated today. I know it isn't all because of the dog, but she is the straw that broke the camels back so she gets the brunt of my frustration.

The hardest thing to do...

...is keep my mouth shut!

I tell myself repeatedly that I am going to keep my mouth shut. But then she goes and pulls some stunt and I can't help myself!

It drives me crazy! It makes me nuts.

• How can you talk about how far behind your kid is and not see that 1.) it is in great part your fault! & 2.) your doing the same thing with the other kid!!


• Your kid is sick. He has a terrible cough and other symptoms; yet you take him out in shorts and no shoes on a cold and rainy day. Seriously?!


• You complain on a regular basis about your children and your sad life, but when given the tools to help, you do nothing. (again point one, your children education). Riddle me this, should a 6 year old know how to tie his shoes and should a 3 year old know his colors by now?? UGH!


• (the list goes on)

I have to blog this because I can't speak about it. It is all I can do to bite my tongue.

I am beside myself right now. Does no one else not feel the need to slap this idiot for being such a bad parent? It is disgraceful.

Rubbish, filth, slime, muck. Putrescence!

Ugh!!

A sad little fish indeed

I tend to get caught in a thought like a fish caught in a net. I struggle and flip out till I get myself so tangled in a mess, I strangle myself.

This is a very bad habit of mine.

Especially in matters of the heart. I have this ol' friend, or so I once thought. It seemed that this friend could anticipate my thoughts before I even had them. He was my best friend and my first love. We shared the same passions and believed in each other, or so I once thought.

Every so often, that little ghost comes back with the same haunting questions. I have been pondering lately what would I say, or how would I act, if given the chance to come face to face with this person today. ... Let's just say, it isn't a pretty picture. It plays out very soap opera like.

So tonight, while I play the scenario in my head, the idea hits me (in the middle of my imaginary tongue lashing to him), I was wrong. I was wrong when I thought I really knew him. I was wrong when I thought he cared as much for me as I did for him. I was wrong when I thought I was his first love too. At least, it is the only way I can maybe get closure on this and put to rest this haunting ghost.

I was WRONG!

....I knew girls who went crazy on old boyfriends and trashed their stuff or flattened the tires or something. I didn't want to be that girl. I wanted to be the one that 20 years later, that guy looked back and thought, "What ever happened to Jodi?" - Well, most of us stayed friends anyway, but the one guy who I would really want to remember me apparently doesn't have the time.

Not to seem stalker about the whole thing like it was a week long romance but we are talking about my first love, my very best friend, my high school sweetheart.

Alas, I was mistaken. I was misguided. I was naive. I was simply wrong.

The thing about a fish caught in a net, if it doesn't panic and gives itself a little time to think, it can get free of the strangling hold the net has on it. It doesn't happen often, but sometimes, that little fish might break free.