A sad little fish indeed

I tend to get caught in a thought like a fish caught in a net. I struggle and flip out till I get myself so tangled in a mess, I strangle myself.

This is a very bad habit of mine.

Especially in matters of the heart. I have this ol' friend, or so I once thought. It seemed that this friend could anticipate my thoughts before I even had them. He was my best friend and my first love. We shared the same passions and believed in each other, or so I once thought.

Every so often, that little ghost comes back with the same haunting questions. I have been pondering lately what would I say, or how would I act, if given the chance to come face to face with this person today. ... Let's just say, it isn't a pretty picture. It plays out very soap opera like.

So tonight, while I play the scenario in my head, the idea hits me (in the middle of my imaginary tongue lashing to him), I was wrong. I was wrong when I thought I really knew him. I was wrong when I thought he cared as much for me as I did for him. I was wrong when I thought I was his first love too. At least, it is the only way I can maybe get closure on this and put to rest this haunting ghost.

I was WRONG!

....I knew girls who went crazy on old boyfriends and trashed their stuff or flattened the tires or something. I didn't want to be that girl. I wanted to be the one that 20 years later, that guy looked back and thought, "What ever happened to Jodi?" - Well, most of us stayed friends anyway, but the one guy who I would really want to remember me apparently doesn't have the time.

Not to seem stalker about the whole thing like it was a week long romance but we are talking about my first love, my very best friend, my high school sweetheart.

Alas, I was mistaken. I was misguided. I was naive. I was simply wrong.

The thing about a fish caught in a net, if it doesn't panic and gives itself a little time to think, it can get free of the strangling hold the net has on it. It doesn't happen often, but sometimes, that little fish might break free.

Long lost

As we traverse our path of life, people come and go. We make friends, we lose touch, we grow apart; but true friends have a way of coming back.


Take for example, Trisha. I thought I would never find that girl and low and behold, she found me on MySpace!


Or how about Shane, another friend from high school I had lost touch with, but found me on MySpace too. (That darn MySpace - hahaha)


And why not give MySpace another plug! Randy had found me there too. (Now there is a good story).

Randy was my best friend in high school. Now many of you may be saying, "Wait a dog gone minute, I thought Brooke was?!"

Brooke was my best (girl) friend. But if ever there was a person who knew me better, almost as well as God Himself, it was Randy. He and I were cut from the same fabric it would seem.

Though through the trials of life, our paths seemed to split after high school. I recall the day we last spoke. We were in a crowded bar and he was telling our old class mates his plan for becoming a musician. I cried. I knew at that moment our friendship was over. Our bond was broken. I told Brooke then that it would be the last time we most likely would speak.

Even though he found me a few months ago, we hadn't really spoken till today. It all started because I noticed he had updated (changed) his website and now it didn't show the dates and places he had gigs. I emailed him to inquire and he emailed me back right away. We wrote back and forth a few times and then shared phone numbers because he wanted to "catch up". A short while later the phone rings.
It started off on a general fill in of the last 12 years. Turns out he tried to look me up about 5 years ago while he was in Houston. I was in Germany at the time and my sister didn't mention he had called.
~~(sigh) .... It is funny I guess. The whole time I am on the phone, my voice seems shaky, my heart beat is faster, I can't breath right and I feel jittery. It is weird how after so much time, old feelings can come out of no where and for no apparent reason.
I am so happy in my life with Marlin. He is truly wonderful and beyond a shadow of a doubt the one for me. With out question, I love him! but so weird how Randy can stir up so much with just entering into my life again (even for a moment)....(sigh)....!!

So looks like Randy may be moving back to the area. It will be nice to have good ol' friends around; Brooke, Trisha, Randy...
..............(sigh)..............Yup. Good to have ol' friends around.

[break into song and rides off into the sunset]

"Then sings my soul, my Saviour God to Thee! How great Thou art! How Great Thou Art!"....

a vaca w/ Heather

Heather arrived in town yesterday.

We went grocery shopping and took it easy yesterday.

Today we spent the day downtown at the Riverwalk. We went to Ripley's Believe it or Not! and the Wax Museum. Ripley's was neat but the Wax Museum was disappointing. But the Riverwalk is still a lovey stroll and very nice.

Tomorrow is a wine probe through Fredericksburg and Stonewall. We are both looking really really forward to it.

(pictures will be posted soon.)

Stay tuned....

a Friendly Connection or a Campaign Tour

Lately MySpace has been a useful tool to many ol' friends looking for me. I have reconnected with some high school friends I thought were surely lost along the path of life. I was thrilled that they looked for me; to discover I was not forgotten.

But sometimes one might wonder the motive...

The other day a once dear friend found me on MySpace. This person was my first love and my dearest friend. I loved him and he made me feel like I was his world. He was so important to me. I was dealing with a deadbeat father and a brother and sister to raise. He understood me, he loved me, accepted me, and made me feel like I was the greatest thing God had ever made.

....But high school ended and we moved apart. He found a different path and I wasn't on it.

I found my own way too. I have done a lot in my short 31 years. I gave birth to a son I am proud of and made a family for Tim and Lisa I love to brag about. I joined the Air Force and met some 0f the greatest people on this Earth!! I served my country and worked along side the men and women that fight for freedom. I have traveled and experienced cultures I couldn't have even imagined. I am so thankful for the life God has blessed me with; more so the friends He has blessed me with.

So why now after all this time does he look me up? Why now do I get an email from this person?
Part of me wants to believe that he never forgot me. I have always wanted to be "the one that got away". I want to be the girl they look back on and wonder, "She was great. I wonder what happened to her..."
The other part of me (the part that is hardened and cynical) wonders if I am just a stop on his "Two Dollar 'Campaign' Tour" to promote his music... which admittedly is pretty good. Actually there are a few that are really catchy.


Well, I guess you never know till you leap....

Ally!!

Here Ye, Here Ye!! All Hail Ally! This girl is definitely toppin' the charts of TCC! In fact, I wouldn't be a bit surprised if she wrote the book (or at least gave the inspiration)!

Beautiful, spunky, out going, smart, classy, down-to-earth, dyn-O-mite.... but enough about me, she is just as wonderful! (Sorry Ally, I had too. hahaha)

Okay seriously, folks, she is a kick-ass mom, she is quite possibly the worlds best cook, she is a warm and loving friend, has strong convictions and a heart for God, she is a ball of fun and one of the best women one could ever know! She is a world class traveler and someone you want with when planning your next adventure.

She has met a wonderful man who loves and truly cherishes her like she deserves. She and Mike are a blessing to know, and he is a whiz in the kitchen too. Let me tell you that Thanksgiving is a real treat but forget about playing Taboo with these two. They can read each others mind, it's so cute! (God, I love these people!)

And little Maddie makes up the rest of this beautiful Family! She is such a smart young lady! She is so adorable and precious to me. I spent so much time with them in Germany, my second family.

I couldn't be happier for them. I wish them all the best and know they will be happy in love forever! I love you guys! I pray God showers you with His Blessings all your days!

Adventure Bound!

Well this is looking to be a pretty adventurous weekend....

Okay, maybe not that adventurous!!

We are heading to Lampasas to pick up the cutest little 2 year old alive!!!! Kaysten is coming to stay a week with his Nany (Naw-ny) and his Aunt Jodi. I am sure he is just thrilled - I know I am!

Additionally, Brooke will be coming to visit and Trisha may stop by too. (Some of you may remember that I haven't seen Trisha in 12 years).

All in all, it looks like it is going to be a jam packed, fun filled weekend!

Heather!

OMG!!! It might be easier to list the things she doesn't do...

The world is her playground!!! She jet sets around the globe like a pro...okay, that may be a bit of a stretch. She is a pro and the military does take her to some unique locations (to say the least).

She totally Rocks!!!! Despite her professional demeanour, she knows how to cut loose! She really knows how to appreciate good (loud, rock) music!

HELLO!!!! She scales walls. She is athletic, sporty, and drives a jeep! Just check out those gams! What a woman. ("I am woman, hear me roar.")

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So maybe now you are thinking, "So she is athletic, sporty, rocker, great personality, smart, witty, and still single?!?!?!?! What must she look like?"

...

...

Well, she is HOT! She is elegant and classy. She is perfectly charming, stunning and delightful.

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But most importantly to me, she is my friend. She is a wonderful friend! I am blessed in my life to have friends as great and totally cool as Heather.

Heather, YOU ROCK! and thanks for being this totally cool chics friend!

TINA

Tina is a Totally Cool Chic. She is one fantastic friend I count as a blessing! She is smart. She is independent and strong. She is loyal, funny, true, a good cook, a good travel companion, adventurous, and a believer. She is a great story teller and a good listener. She is not a Drama Queen. She does not have to be the center of attention despite the fact she is beautiful. She is down home, humble and honest. She can can be elegant or be just as comfortable in jeans or sweats and slippers. She is a wonderful friend.

She is also a very respected professional. I look up to her as an ethical leader because she is fair and as non-bias as one can be. I shout her praise from the top of the Alps!

All Hail Tina, A Totally Cool Chic.

Letters

In rummaging through some old letters I came across one I had written many years ago when I was but a wee lass. I think I was going to write it out several times and send it to all those persons I felt deserved receiving a copy. Being that the Internet lets me type it once and then all my closest and dearest friends can read it whilst everyone else can Ooh and Aww! (chuckles)
So here it is; the long awaited letter of my early years to my most cherished friends:

Recently someone said to me that a person was lucky if they found one true friend in life. Well, I am blessed for I have many. I know that no matter where I go or what I do, I will always have those friends. I want to thank each of you for being a True Friend to me and making such a wonderful difference in my life! I hope you can say I did as much for you as you have done for me.
There is also something else I want to share with you. Something that is very close and dear to me. That is Jesus Christ. I am pretty sure you know Him. But just in case, I want to tell you about Him. You see, I LOVE HIM just as I love you. One day when we are all in Heaven, I would want all of you to be there. He is a wonder and a blessing and He is the best friend anyone could ever have. He is the Way, the Truth, and the Light, and none shall pass through the gates of Heaven except through HIM.. So if you don't know Him, please seek Him. If you do, Amen!!

I Love You and in Jesus name,
I pray for you
Love and God Bless,
Jodi

Well, I may not have been a young R. Frost but at least my heart was in the right place. Thank you for reading! Many happy days!
Jodi

Sunshyne

"Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
It's not warm when she's away...


Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
Only darkness everyday...."

Where is my Sunshyne? I know she is having a great summer with her boys and having a blast moving to the Tennessee (with all those boxes to pack, unpack, sort, arrange, etc...) but I miss my Sunshyne.
I miss our cups of coffee and our desserts. I miss our long philosophical discussions or our emotional rants. Who else can fill her shoes? NO-ONE.
http://choicecentral.blogspot.com/2007/01/forecast-sunshyne-with-cup-of-jo.html
http://sunshynem.blogspot.com/2007/01/lip-gloss-never-leave-home-without-it.html

I hope that you are doing well and shining brightly. I hope you stay in touch and keep me posted (hahahaha). I hope you know how wonderful you are and how warm your heart is. I hope that no matter how much time goes by that you know...(music begins to play)
"You've got a friend in me.
You've got a friend in me.
If you've got troubles, and I got 'em too.
There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you.
If we stick together we can see it through,
Cause you got a friend in me.
Yeah, you got a friend in me.
Some other folks might be a little bit smarter than I am.
Bigger and stronger too.
But none of them will ever love you the way I do,
It's me and you, boy.
And as the years go by,
Our friendship will never die.
You gonna see it's our destiny.
You got a friend in me. "

Take care and be blessed.

Promotion: the act of promoting

promotion [pruh-mō-shuhn] : 1. Advancement in rank or position; act of raising in rank/position.

TSgt Henderson - currently in Europe and recently promoted to the prestigous grade E-6 (and about time to)!


I am so proud of you and wish I could have been there.


I respect you and hold you in high regard. You are a phenomenal NCO and a tremendous asset to the Air Force and any person who knows you. I count our friendship among my highest blessings. You are a strong and beautiful woman that God smiles on!






Capt Gradiz - [pictured here with CMSgt Sharpe (retired) and Alma & Mike]

This is a truly remarkable woman! Driven, charismatic, brilliant, humble, and the list goes on.
Her accolades are great.

[pictured below are her husband, family and friends]


















Friends come to celebrate with her.

[right: Hilda (looks like Norah Jones) and Jonel]



[below: me & E]

















2. Advertising; publicity : see Doug



3. Furtherance or encouragement of progress, growth, or acceptance of something : look to Chirst!

I encourage you to seek HIM, grow in HIM, know HIM, and know HE desires to do the same with you!