The Pictures you have been Dying to See

Peek~a~Boo!!!

Hello World! It's Me! MARLI!!

(taken at 4 days old)

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I like to look my best when I am on the town. My Great Aunt Trisa makes sure my ruffles are perfect.

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But there is nothing like a Sunday nap with my daddy! He's a big ol' warm teddy bear. He calls me "Squishy Puffy Cheeks" and Mommy and me are his favorites girls in the whole world and that is pretty amazing!

....Then again, we are pretty cute and he really loves our eyes.

The Fears

Before I had my precious perfect daughter, I certainly had plenty of reasons never to have children.

I had helped raise my two siblings (8 & 10 yrs younger than me) and I didn't want to have to be responsible for anyone else like that again.

I felt the world was grossly over populated and I wasn't going to contribute to this epidemic. ...

...The List goes on call it selfish or justified, I DID NOT WANT KIDS.

(flash forward)

I met the greatest guy and he convinced me that he would be a wonderful husband and a loyal, loving and doting father! So now I am experiencing the three most wonderful loves in the world ...(and in order) The love of our Lord and Savior, The Love of a Spouse, The Love of a Mother to her Child. Though I must say, my cup runneth over! I can not speak to the overwhelming love for ones child. It is consuming and nurturing and warming and magnificent.

But I digress.

The Fears:

Was I making the right decesion?

Was I really doing this for me or for him?

Would I later resent her for taking up my husbands time?

Would I later regret having her?

Did he understand the full gravity of having a child and all the responsiblities??

Now:

Is she okay?

Will I be a good mom?

Am I a good mom?

Will I get tired of her?

Oh my goodness! This list goes on too! But then I look at her....

and I know I will never stop trying to be better for her.

How can you not Love this Face!!!

That's my little girl!

Tying the Knot

Well folks, I finally did it!

Yup, that's right, I finally found the perfect man for me and we got married!!!

Oh and we found out we are having a little baby girl. She will be Marli Sarail Cunningham.

More to come....

Both sides of the fence

For sometime I was single.

While I prided myself on being a rational person and seeing both sides, I must admit my view was, of course, limited because I hadn't been on both sides, merely just looked over and thought I had a good enough perspective.

So now I am on the other side.

And I look back at the fence and ... well, I still feel the same way.

There are those folks, most folks, that once they are in a new relationship, they are consumed with that new person. Suddenly everyone one that was once a friend is no more. Whether it be not enough time to spend with those ol' friends or the new love doesn't approve. Perhaps there are other reasons, but it seems to boil down to those two.

I have usually been on the single/ol' friend side that suddenly got pushed to the wayside. I never appreciated that. I understood that a new relationship requires time to take root and one wants to spend time with their new love but come on!!!! I still exist too! What am I? Dirt????

[deep breath]

So I have been in a new relationship now. I am on the other side. I want to spend a lot of time with my great guy, wonderful beau, handsome man... and I do feel terrible that I don't make as much time to call, write, email, or text my ol' friends. But, I do try to drop a line occasionally. I do say hi and apologize for my neglect.

So I apparently had a friend that used to be single but now he has a gal and I am chopped liver. Just as it was the last time he had a gal. So what will I be next time he is single?

....maybe I will just be busy. .....?.....

.... but I still feel the same way after seeing both sides of the fence.

being Hurt and Healing

Several times during the life of my blog, I have mentioned (more like vented) about being hurt by my brother; and a few times by others. James has done his fair share of damage to our sibling bond, and he continues to disappoint. But if you insist on seeing a positive.... well, he is consistent.

It is funny how you can have blood relations you have nothing in common with and have friends who are a better family than your own.

Brooke, my bff, is more like a sister to me than my own. We are more alike, the same age (to the date, though she is older - haha) and even lived together for a year. She is my sister and I love her.
With that said, we have had our sisterly fights. And we still come through it just as sisters do.
Now I am with Marlin who is just the same with Brooke's husband, Jerald. They are brothers thru and thru. So now when one of us hurt, we both feel it.
Several times we have asked our "siblings" over to dinner or to hang out and for one reason or another, they rarely show. A few times they said yes but failed to make it. This has left Marlin and I feeling very hurt. I had been harboring these feelings for a few weeks trying to let them go or figure out a good way to 'lightly' mention it, without causing a bigger problem.
Brooke is a wonderful sister! I said what I needed and she explained how sorry she was. She and Jerald both know how it seems and though they don't intend to stand us up, it always ends up that way. They are both very sorry and really do want to spend more time together.
I am so thankful I have a sister that I can talk to and is understanding and loves me enough to listen and not get offended or defensive.
I love my sister!

Family Update!

Speaking of Birthdays, we just celebrated my Granny's 80th birthday this past weekend.
My Mom came up and a few cousins came up so it was a little reunion of sorts but all part of my Granny's birthday surprises! Unfortunately there had to be a (figurative) grey cloud. My brother had spoiled part of the day with his criminal habits which really hurt my Mom and grandparents but we put it past us to enjoy the rest of the day. Lynda and Sonny (Marlin's parents) stopped by and met my grandparents for the first time. They all got along and really enjoyed each other.

Today I got a letter for Lisa, Nicholas' mom. I had written her a few times but hadn't heard anything for some time. I had hoped they hadn't moved on so much that I was no longer a thought...
but I finally got a email today. I am so happy to hear from her. I am so glad to hear about their eventful summer and see the pictures of the boys. I am so so glad that she hasn't forgotten me. ........ I hope one day, .... one day.... (sigh) .... when we meet....
I look forward to that day.
......
as for my readers, sorry I don't update as before. I don't feel as ponderous or deep or ... whatever as before. I watch my dogs and garden most of the day. But I am happy and Marlin and I are as happy as ever. Our love and appreciation grows each day.... OH! JOYOUS REPORT - he bought 2 different bibles to start his bible study and he has been so excited about it, his Mom got one too. This could be a big breakthrough for her and his parents. Keep them in your prayers.
I am a blessed person to have my life. It isn't perfect but it is mine and I am thankful for it because of those in it.
God Bless!

Party Around the World!!

It's my BIRTHDAY!!!!

Today I am 33.

And since all my friends and family are scattered all over the world; My party will encompass the globe (woohoo)! So drink one for me!! Have a toast, eat cake, buy a present for me (chuckles), do something wonderful today because today is a great holiday!

Love you all!

CHEERS!!!!!!!!!